‘The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society’ is the fourth and most recent audiobook release by author and dating coach Alan Roger Currie from the United States. This title is the second audiobook by Currie that I have listened to and reviewed, and I found this one more thought-provoking than his last (CLICK HERE for my review of Currie’s other audiobook, ‘Oooooh … Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex’).
Currie’s new book offers an explanation for the recent social trend that finds many men losing interest in marriage, and it also provides an insight into what is known as the ‘MANosphere,’ which represents a number of different blog sites and internet message boards that many single men visit who are frustrated with some aspect of their love life or sex life, and are seeking advice and wisdom from other men who possess more experience and success with women romantically and sexually.
Currie speaks with an almost hypnotic voice. It is clear that this is a book designed to have his readers thinking about the content for days after they have listened to the audiobook in its entirety. The various anecdotes and hypothetical situations offered by Currie make this audiobook a very entertaining and enlightening listening experience.
I particularly enjoyed the Preface chapter which centres on a fictional social experiment scenario that Currie refers to as ‘Monogamy Island.’ On Monogamy Island, every man and woman must ‘couple up’ for a minimum of six months, and remain monogamous to their romantic partner to avoid consequences and penalties. If a man or woman is caught cheating, they will be relegated to only being able to have sex with others who were caught cheating.
Currie’s Monogamy Island is a brilliant thought-provoking social experiment scenario. Currie explains it in a very detailed and logical manner. Currie used Monogamy Island to argue convincingly that even if a society was built around the idea that everyone was obligated to remain strictly monogamous with their chosen partners, challenges would still arise for many of the couples. The Preface chapter left me with a lot of food for thought, but also, it left me with a lot of questions I wanted to pose to Currie himself.
Currie seems to make the argument in this book that finding a man or woman who is the ‘total package’ is almost impossible for dating singles. For example, he suggests that if a man is exceptionally good in bed, he will be hard to get along with outside the bedroom. This is what Currie labels a ‘Total Alpha male.’ On the opposite end of the spectrum, Currie suggests that if a man is very easy to get along with outside of the bedroom, that he will most certainly end up being boring or unsatisfying in the bedroom. This is what Currie labels a ‘Total Beta male.’
The category of men that Currie offers to his female listeners as coming close to being the ‘total package’ (both good in bed and fun to be around outside the bedroom) would be the ‘Alpha male with a few Beta traits.’ According to Currie, even this group of men have their own set of issues, mainly a high likelihood to cheat on their wives or girlfriends behind their back because of their highly in-demand popularity with women.
One final category of men Currie offers is the ‘Beta male with a few Alpha traits.’ This group of men are similar to the ‘Total Beta males,’ but they are usually more educated, have better social skills, and are usually affluent. Currie suggests that most women will only use these men as a ‘Sugar Daddy’ or financial provider, but will cheat on these men behind their back with a Total Alpha male or an Alpha male with Beta traits.
My question is, why would any man or woman get married to someone who they did not feel was the total package? A partner and spouse that offered enjoyable companionship both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom? If the only option I have for the total package is the cheating and adulterous Alpha male with Beta traits, then thanks … but no thanks.
Currie’s discussion of Total Alphas, Alphas with Beta traits, Betas with Alpha traits and Total Betas was quite absorbing. Again, though it was clear that these labels are Currie’s own unique stereotypes, Currie’s descriptions of how these stereotypes function with women in our society is very useful and interesting for listeners of both genders. I felt that at times, Currie had a tendency to over-generalise men and women’s behaviour, especially in regards to the socio-economic and family backgrounds of the Total Alphas vs. the Total Betas.
For example, I disagreed with Currie’s assertions that Beta males (i.e., the nice, polite, gentlemanly types) are usually raised under the heavy influence of women. Currie even suggested that men who grow up to be criminals are usually raised by single mothers! I would have to be shown some statistical evidence to buy into that unsubstantiated generalisation. Also, I personally disagree with the broad generalisation that all Beta males are less exciting and typically unsatisfying sexually compared to their more Alpha counterparts.
I also do not agree with Currie’s assertion that the vast majority of single, heterosexual men are guilty of only ‘pretending’ to be content with remaining ‘just friends’ with a woman with the underlying objective of hoping to gain the opportunity to have sex with her at some point in the future (what Currie refers to in his book as ‘FunClubbing’). To suggest that men are solely interested in socially interacting with women for the purposes of dating and having sex with tends to reveal an unfortunate misogynistic worldview.
Women have more to offer men than just romantic and sexual companionship alone. As platonic friends to men, women can offer them someone to trust and confide in, someone they can laugh with, someone they can support and be supported by, and above all, someone who they can just generally enjoy spending time with without physical intimacy or sex being involved.
The notion that the vast majority of heterosexual men only befriend women with the underlying motive of having sex with those women at some point down the line is a ridiculous one. It suggests that the only thing of value that women have to offer men is the ability to please them sexually. This, of course, is so not true! If the “vast majority” of single, heterosexual men think as Currie suggests in his book, then I fear for the world.
In addition to being enlightened about what the ‘MANosphere’ is all about, I also learned more about the infamous ‘Pickup Artist Community’ and the way men who follow this community think and behave. I emerged from Currie’s book with more insight into these subjects and how men REALLY think than I had had previously, but also with the feeling that a lot of this insight was Currie’s own individual insight, and not necessarily insight that all men across the globe would wholeheartedly agree with (to be fair, Currie does not suggest in his book that every man on Earth maintains the exact same beliefs and opinions that he does).
In conclusion, I would recommend this audiobook.
Overall, I would say that this new book by Currie is entertaining, enlightening, and well-written. I enjoyed Currie’s frequent requests to “marinate on that a little,” and found the abundance of rhetorical questions, along with Currie’s engaging tone of voice, very absorbing. I also believe in Currie’s primary thesis that strictly monogamous marriages are not for everyone. I also agree with Currie’s statement that promiscuous and polyamorous sexual behaviour is not for everyone either.
My main criticism would simply be that I found quite a few of Currie’s opinions, assertions, and generalisations to be either invalid, or simply not fully substantiated by factual evidence.